No one told me
Staying at home was so hard. No one told me there would be so many challenges along the way, after all being a stay at home mom is the greatest thing that can happen to a mom. It truly is a great blessing but it is a challenge. I wish someone could have told me the things I know today. I have been home for five years now and the first couple were hard to adjust. Here are a few things I feel are important for you to know.
1.Friends will go
After I had my first and started staying home with my baby friends started to disappear. This is normal, you have a major change in the way you live your life. Your interests have changed, your priorities are different and you have less time to hang out. Unless your friends have children they do not understand why you have changed. Reach out to other moms, moms who stay at home and have things in common with your life now. I felt very alone after I had my babies since I was so young none of my friends had kids and I was nervous to reach out to other moms. Now that I have other moms to share with it makes life so much easier. Find a moms group in your area or on Facebook.
2.Ask for help or take help offered
This was something I had a hard time with. I had it set in my mind I had to prove something to everyone and do it all on my own. My husband worked night shift when we first had Briden, it was hard letting him sleep during the day and he was gone at night. I tried to be super mom and it was overwhelming. I didn’t even want to leave him with his grandma to go the grocery store. Looking back I wish I would have taken more help when they were tiny. It is ok to take the help, it does not mean you are any less of a great mom. Let your mom fold your laundry or your friend make you a dinner to cook for your family. It makes life more enjoyable.
3.At some point you will want to go to work
I have done this a couple of times over the last five years. Sometimes this a thankless job, you don’t get paid, you don’t get an award for employee of the month, no sick days or paid vacation. Feeling as though you are not contributing enough to the family will happen. I have worked a couple time during my journey, it was great and then I missed my babies, I wanted to spend my day with them. For me it was a fight between my heart and my mind. One day when the kids are in school I will go to work but for now I will stay home and watch them grow.
5.Get out of the house
Take the kids to the park, to the library, visit family, sit in your yard it that’s all the farther you can go for the day. Get out and do something other than stare at four walls all day. This is a big one for me especially, I am a house cat. The comfort of my home is where I want to be. I have to make a plan to get out of the house and do something with the kids to stay sane. Sitting in a house all day can make you so sad and unmotivated. It doesn’t have to be everyday or even once a week but make sure to get out of the house on occasions.
6.Have days for yourself
Being a mom 24/7 can make you feel as though you have lost your identity. Many times I have told my husband once my kids go to school what am I suppose to do with my life. I have dedicated a lot of time to being mom that sometimes I forget I can wear other hats too. Getting out and having days for yourself is important to maintaining your identity. Get your hair or nails done, have a girls day/night, catch a quick lunch with an old friend, anything that is going to make you feel like, well you! It is ok to take care of yourself.
7. Do something that makes you happy
Crafting makes me happy, DIY projects, scrapbooking, reading a self improvement book make me happy. It is not something you have to get out of the house to do. Take some time to read that book sitting on your shelf, grab a couple pictures and make a scrapbook page, take a bath in peace and quit! These are things you can squeeze into your day after the kids go to bed or before they wake up, maybe even nap time. Just make sure you do something that makes you happy.
Being a stay at home mom really is a wonderful experience and I hope you get to spend lots of time snuggling and loving your babies